I just dun understand why somethings you want so badly will eventually never be yours. I always believed perseverence works, but somehow its not working right now. No matter how much i try to tell myself its fine, its alright, i've never felt any better. Its getting harder and harder to cope when the exams are getting nearer. I feel like a stretched rubber band about to snap anytime. Cant i get my life back? Cant anyone understand how much this means to me? I wish i can cry it all out and somehow the problem will be solved, as if its going to work. My sis is just so busy with her life, i cant get through to her. She doesnt have time to talk to me anymore and has stop trying to understand what i'm going through. Somehow i've stopped blabbering to my friends, I dun wanna bother my friends anymore, i should not and i dun wanna affect their life with my emotions. I dunno what to do now, i dunno how to manage this unbearable pain. All i know is that i am and have to persevere to the end.

I've got this photoframe that have been sitting on my study table for a really long time, maybe since i turn 18? :) but for the past year, i've never once read the words, never once read the msg on it. Only looked at the photos. But today, for whatever reason, i finally read the msg written on it. I realised how happy i was with you, how happy i was to have such a wonderful friend like you and how much i loved you as my good friend. I guess ever since we went our ways and lived our life, i only remember the horrible stuff about you, how much i wasnt happy about you. But when i read what you've written for me, i realised that we actually went through alot, though it wasnt smooth, but we went through it together. We had one another to lean on when we're lost, and we had each other whenever we needed someone. I guess this kind of friendship only happens to you once in your life, i guess i failed to treasure it, i was lost in my unhappiness. But i'm glad that we had fun. So no more talking about you, i'll just keep the past in my heart and we'll continue to move on with our life. I wish you the best:)

Quiz took off from eliz's blog!

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Being Alone
Death
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Its in the middle of the night but i dun seem to feel like sleeping. I usually sleep in the afternoon, and i can fall asleep immediately? It takes forever for me to sleep at night. So usually i will watch teevoo to kill my time so that i will try not to look over to st gabs. Matthew told me scary stories the last time=/ BAD. I just submitted my last application to the uni, what a relieve that its over, at least on my side. Not hoping for anything, whatever outcome, i will bravely face it=) There so many things to be done tml and yet i'm still not asleep. Damm, falling asleep is such a chore for me. Poof. I miss PL, miss hanging out with strawclub, messing around with the teachers and love the carefree-ness of it. Now, i'm starting to be an adult, there's so much responsibilities that i need to take on. I hate responsibilities, i'm never sure about my decisions. I'm so old. I wanna be YOUNG AGAIN!
But bottomline: LOVE WAVE PARTNER MEI FAMILY for no reason what so ever. I've too much love to give them! =)

It was nice spending some time with eliz on monday. We kindof studied, erm more like i listening to her plan her week. hahahah, but we studied in the end lahh=) We had at least 2hours of seriously studying and went cycling after that! Thank goodness we cycled at remote places because being a really horrible cyclist, it was more like the cars and pedestrians trying to give way to me!! hahaha It was very relaxing spending time with her=)

So, thanks to my christmas 'angel' EVON, i'm totally STUCK in the fantasy of TWILIGHT. Oh man, i hate and love all these girly fantasy. Its bittery sweet you see. You kind of really wanna meet the PERFECT guy who you know will always be there for you no matter what happens, saving you when you're in trouble and he's REALLY cool, maybe not a vampire but the person that everyone loves and he is in love with YOU, the person who is so imperfect!!? I love the book though it kinda affected me a little. HAHA! Cant wait to watch it on mondayyyy!!!! And I wanna get the rest of the booksss!!

I love Friends! Gooing to watch it now!!

I know i can do it, without anyone's help. I have to be strong no matter what's happening, it will be over soon. All of these.

Kind of felt that my life is in such a hugee mess, i duno what i'm doing, my sleeping hours are so odd & i'm wasting my life watching television when i'm suppose to study. Order is not longer in my life. I wanna have a goal in life because i know that we're all made for something big/small in life and if i find it, i would definitely sell my teevee. haha. Somehow i'm so tired of being someone i wanna be. We always wanna be ourselves, but there is often a grey area btw being weird or unique aka 'damm character'. You never know how people will react to your actions and what they really think about you. Dilemma.
Yes, i do care abt how people think about me.
Yes, i can be very shallow.
Yes, i'm always so unsure of myself no matter how hard i try.
I dunno, my life is so bloody screwed up.

There's going to be a MEGA mall in serangoon!!!!

'$1.3b centre, about twice the size of suburban malls here, is expected to be completed by 2010' !!!!

'IT IS full steam ahead for a $1.3 billion mega shopping mall being built at Serangoon Central - in defiance of the current gloomy times.'

'Designed as an eco-friendly mall, the yet-to-be-named mall will be set amidst lush garden enclaves and landscaped sky terraces. It is also strategically located in the heart of Serangoon with its large residential population and numerous schools.'

'The yet-to-be-named six-storey mall - which sits above Serangoon MRT station and the upcoming Serangoon Circle Line station - will be integrated with the stations and a new bus interchange.'

WHAT’S planned for the mall:

More than 400 specialty shops
A 10-screen cineplex
A hypermarket, a gourmet supermarket and
A department store
A 500-seat food court
A 24-hour zone with shops as well as food and beverage outlets
A new 16-bay bus interchange will take up a portion of the ground floor of the shopping centre


OMG!
This is a dream come through for all serangoon-ers.
We can totally hang out there, and no more s11 horrible food!!!!
24hr shopping and food!? + Cinema?! AND GIANT?! MORE than 400 specialty shops?!!!
I think i'll never ever leave serangoon after that!
I just wish amongst the shops and stores, there will be STARBUCKS!
then i can so hang out there!
I LOVE SERANGOON! =))

Best of Me

I was made the wrong way, won't you do me the right way?
Where you gonna be tonight, cause i won't stay too long.
Maybe you're the light for me, when you talk to me it strikes me. Won't somebody help me, cause i don't feel too strong.

Was it something that i said? Was it something that i did? Or the combination of both that did me wrong.

You know i'm hoping you sing along, I know it's not your favorite song. Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say. You know that some of us spin again, when you do, you need a friend. Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me and i hate the thought of finally being erased
That's the best of me.

Everything's behind you, but the hope still stands beside you. Living in every moment have i wasted all your time. Was there something that i said? Was there something that i did? Or the combination i broke that did me have?

You know i'm hoping you sing along, I know it's not your favorite song. Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say. You know that some of us spin again, when you do, you need a friend. Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me and i hate the thought of finally being erased


That's the best of me.

Time to start MUGGERATING

I'm strong
Going to stand up from where i fell =)

Time to start muggerating, there are so many things to catch up and really sit down to practice and study. I can so going to do it =s

I was actually a little early for school today, 153 came early. 151 took really long to come, kind of needed eliz to chope seats for me yet again. Went onto the damm damm packed 151 carrying this Super Uper THICK sociology book. Nobody bothered to give up their sit for me. Yea, i know, OF COURSE, i'm not OLD nor am i PREGNANT. But some ARCS in bus really got me so PISSED OFF. I know you're there, if i dun say hi = i didnt see you/shy/anti-social/I DUN LIKE YOU. Get the msg pls. So stop whispering here and there in the bus about me. Come on, grow UP. Bloody hell.

Anw, eliz and i got really so so hungry during lecture. For me, its because i didnt wake up early enough to go for lunch. But for eliz, she is on a bloody diet. Ahyo, food makes people HAPPY = HA HA HA. I mean, when can you STOP being on diet? You have to eat eventually right? Not practical. Anw, we have this craving for fillet burger. Totally stuffed the entire burger within like 10 mins?! hahah.

Yea, lecture was dammit interesting as usual with Mr Nageb's jokes and childish-ness. He is just so full of himself in such a lovable way. You see, my class is really not-responsive AT ALL and i really mean it. You can literally hear NOTHING when he asks a question. He gets really worked up about it though. Sometimes he would get out from his seat, come all the way up to us, and give us a BIG WAVE(not my clique, i mean literally) with a very 'forceful' smile, like a teenager/kid. Haha, i cant stop laughing at that, a 40++ man doing that?! He is the best ever man, love the way he make us like IBM, making IBM a seem like a piece for cheese cake. HAHA.

So 3hrs just flew by like that, met qian and head home. Raining didnt stop, cant run again=/

Anw, a shout out to wavet(excluding W): ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR UPCOMING EXAMS! You know you can do it! =) Miss ya all, meet up for a movie soon! Love you all!

I WANNA BE IN CONTROL.

When can i be in control?

I fear hoping.

I doubt myself.

I feel so discouraged.

ECP this Sat!!

Its been quite awhile since i last blogged.
Lets start from where i remember

09aug08 (3pm onwards):
Maye called to say that there are extra NDP08 tickets for both of us
Within an hour we were on our way down to marina square
Got ready our 'tea + dinner' just in case we food lovers get hungry =p
Maye and i enjoyed the pre-parade and the Fun Pack!!
Took loads of pictures but i'm reeaalllyyy lazzy to upload haha
Had a great night dancing and chilling with Maye =)

26Aug 08:
We surprised rachel celebrating her birthday 2days earlier
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY PARTNER!!!
We have been through quite a bit,
and i really treasure this friendship alot! =D

Thereafter we went down to viv/evon's hostel
Yaqi & mei joined us too.
We had a great night =)
Just imagine THREE adults squeezing in a bed, what a great night.


28Aug 08:
Went to the IT fair with Huijeen & Sarah because we all needed some IT FLUSH!!
haha
We got so fascinated with all the new gadgets, it kind of make us feel like some IT Idiot =/
Got quite many free goodies(LOADS of Brouchure i must say)
& Huijeen and i decided to get The iPHONE tgt at the end of this year!!!! SO COOLL!!!!
I CANT WAITTT!!!

So we headed for starbucks to settle down & had our usual drink
It was then followed by a gossip session,
Well, one session like this occasionally just make life so interesting =))

29aug08: Missed night cycling(Which SUCK!)
06sep08: Accompanied Viv to cut hair and SHOP TILL WE DROP! Watch, Dress.....
08sep08: Spent my day in AWWA
10sep08: I REBONDED MY HAIR!!!! GOODBYE PERMSSSSS!!

& Maye just msg to say that we're all going to ECP this SAT!!!!!!!!
FULL day with the DAMM CHILDISH FAMILY!!!!!!
I CANT WAITT!!!!!!! =))))) I Miss you GUYS SO MUCHHH!!!!

To MEI : I MISS YOU BADLY! HOPE WE CAN MEET UP SOON SOONSOONN.

TableTennis is still Part of my Life

Was on my way back from school today
Managed to catch the tt match : Singapore vs S.korea
Gotta say that luck was really on Singapore's side this year =))
Congrates Singapore, after 48 years of medal drought(though we are only 43 years old!)

I was remind of all the tt moments,
The anxiety during matches and sometimes, the unspoken happiness we enjoyed
Often because we put our heart and soul into the game
I definitely learnt loadds of things
Each year we had to bring ourselves to the next level of tt.

I would say that playing tt is the happiest thing that happened in my life.

And the team that i'll never forget:
Year: 2004
School : PLMGSS
Coach : Mr Kim (The Best Ever)
Team Members :
1st Singles - Sheryl Sim (Unbeatable)
1st Doubles - Val Tan, Charissa (Never lost a match in the 2004 tournament)
2nd Singles - Yuan Ling (The Power)
2nd Doubles - Mich Lee, Qian-Jie (The Amazing Pair)
3rd Singles - ME =)
Our Achievement : Sliver

I really miss Tt and wish that i can once again relive the moments.

I Love Being Random

The renovation noise upstair woke me up from my long-wanted sleep. ROARS!!

Good things just dun seem to last forever

Watch a little BBC and head out to vivo to meet Geraldine

Sorry to make you wait girl!

We wanted to get the sandals we long wanted but didnt manage to =/


Enjoyed our favourite starbucks coffee(plus loads of WHIPCREAM!)

HAHAHA! I actually found a friend who LOVES WHIPCREAM!!

Lets grow fat together!!

Had a long long long talk.

It feels like we knew each other forever when we talked.

Love you loads =))

Summer school & application next year!! -Cheers!!-

Accompanied her down to school for her db training

Dinnered with mummy and head home.

I think i'm sick, down with fever again -_-

Geraldine & i should be the first students wearing fbts to school.

I'm serious! Everyone looked at us like we were aliens from MARS.

HAHAHA!

Pissed

Spent 1 hour drafting my last post & it totally got DELETED!!!

ROARS!



Anw, finally left GIC last thursday.

Well guys, it wasnt easy holding back my tears.

But i love you all, thanks so much for everything.



Friday

Went out with Jinyen's OG friends to explore sim

We didnt know that sim was as big as ONE block.

It took us only TEN mins to explore SIM

Went down for bbq with them at ECP

Had a great time.


Sunday
Had lunch with Alice Koh at Sushi Tei thinking that i'm super rich
Food was disappointing for my hungry stomach
Coffee was fine, but the company ROCKS
I've been getting use to being alone too much that i forgot the feeling of company
Thanks Alice, you make me realise that actually humans need to have FRIENDS

Lets fast-forward to:
Wednesday
First day of school in SIM
Met tq, eliz & wen min for lunch.
Meet so many old friends there. i guess.

IBM ROCKS!! But the stake of lecture notes was hilarious. Gave me muscleaches carrying it home.
Sociology is an ultimate bore.
"Institutions can appear to be separate and independent, but they are linked"
Imagine THREE freaking hours on THAT.
Mind twristing facts.

Today
No lectures.
Woke up at the end of the day.
Down with slight flu + fever
But i went to see a doctor for my FACE.
Madness.
Trying to read my Socio notes now, but tiny words and crazy facts are not helping.
I think i might be a resident in IMH when i finish this course.
Do come at visit me. thanks