I just dun understand why somethings you want so badly will eventually never be yours. I always believed perseverence works, but somehow its not working right now. No matter how much i try to tell myself its fine, its alright, i've never felt any better. Its getting harder and harder to cope when the exams are getting nearer. I feel like a stretched rubber band about to snap anytime. Cant i get my life back? Cant anyone understand how much this means to me? I wish i can cry it all out and somehow the problem will be solved, as if its going to work. My sis is just so busy with her life, i cant get through to her. She doesnt have time to talk to me anymore and has stop trying to understand what i'm going through. Somehow i've stopped blabbering to my friends, I dun wanna bother my friends anymore, i should not and i dun wanna affect their life with my emotions. I dunno what to do now, i dunno how to manage this unbearable pain. All i know is that i am and have to persevere to the end.

I've got this photoframe that have been sitting on my study table for a really long time, maybe since i turn 18? :) but for the past year, i've never once read the words, never once read the msg on it. Only looked at the photos. But today, for whatever reason, i finally read the msg written on it. I realised how happy i was with you, how happy i was to have such a wonderful friend like you and how much i loved you as my good friend. I guess ever since we went our ways and lived our life, i only remember the horrible stuff about you, how much i wasnt happy about you. But when i read what you've written for me, i realised that we actually went through alot, though it wasnt smooth, but we went through it together. We had one another to lean on when we're lost, and we had each other whenever we needed someone. I guess this kind of friendship only happens to you once in your life, i guess i failed to treasure it, i was lost in my unhappiness. But i'm glad that we had fun. So no more talking about you, i'll just keep the past in my heart and we'll continue to move on with our life. I wish you the best:)

Quiz took off from eliz's blog!

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Disappointment You are a fun-loving, energetic, and cheerful person. You love adrenaline rushes, and going out at night. You constantly have to be having a great time to feel completely happy. Your biggest fear is not having anything to do, or having a huge disappointment/let down in your life. You hate being sad, and if something in your life suddenly went wrong it would be extremely hard for you to deal with. Just remember that everyone has to deal with hard times. Stay strong, and pretty soon your fun, party life will get right back the way it used to be.
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Being Alone
Death
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Its in the middle of the night but i dun seem to feel like sleeping. I usually sleep in the afternoon, and i can fall asleep immediately? It takes forever for me to sleep at night. So usually i will watch teevoo to kill my time so that i will try not to look over to st gabs. Matthew told me scary stories the last time=/ BAD. I just submitted my last application to the uni, what a relieve that its over, at least on my side. Not hoping for anything, whatever outcome, i will bravely face it=) There so many things to be done tml and yet i'm still not asleep. Damm, falling asleep is such a chore for me. Poof. I miss PL, miss hanging out with strawclub, messing around with the teachers and love the carefree-ness of it. Now, i'm starting to be an adult, there's so much responsibilities that i need to take on. I hate responsibilities, i'm never sure about my decisions. I'm so old. I wanna be YOUNG AGAIN!
But bottomline: LOVE WAVE PARTNER MEI FAMILY for no reason what so ever. I've too much love to give them! =)